My life is a little stagnant at the moment. I am the epitome of indecision and as a result: idleness. Having graduated last summer and only finding somewhere to live in London at the end of february this year, I havent been up to much. The last two months have meant to be me figuring out what I want to do with myself. I’ve come to the conclusion that without the structure of academic life running my days, its actually rather difficult to be your own bossman.
How is one meant to do it exactly? I am left to think to myself, and sit at home all day, everyday and most of the people I know aren’t in London. The world seems further and further away, and the idea of being in it again seems a little daunting. It’s like i’m developing agoraphobia (??)
I am the worst self motivator and it seems I have become excellent at avoiding doing things as well. I shall call myself the procrastination queen!! For now it seems safer to stay in my own little world of dreams and self doubt. All I want is to see what I want and to know that its the right thing, and to be able to go for it- guns blazing and fearless into the unknown. Is that too much to ask for??
Please don’t tell me I’m the only one?? Or if you have any tips for me, then by all means I shall welcome them like a turkey would a vegetarian on thanksgiving.
RAWR!!! Love and Happiness people - that;s what it’s all about right??
They appear where they aren’t wanted. A little rough around the edges, but wild and free in spirit. Beacons of colour, they go un-appreciated. A smile appears as more of them crop up unannounced. On a sun filled day you are able to bask in the warmth and their company. Until one day there are too many of them, and only one of you. Just as you started to like them, they are murdered, without warning; and everything goes back to black and white for a moment.